# The religious extremists of the Bible Belt



## bwester (Aug 2, 2007)

So as I was leaving the house today to go back to work from my lunch break, they got me. A 3 generation group from some ultra conservative religious group around here. A mother, her son and his grandmother, all with the look of damnation in their eyes as they handed me a pamphlet with flames, a claw and in big bold words "HELL AWAITS"
They stole 15 minutes of my break and when she finished her mini-sermon she sternly asked if I had any questions about eternal damnation.

I responded, "So, is this before or after we drink the kool-aid?"


----------



## Heather (Aug 2, 2007)

I'm sure it is worse down there, but it happens up here also. My mother had a run in with the LDS people many years ago. When she said she wasn't interested, and tried to close the door, one of them stuck their foot in between the door and the doorjam. I think she then slammed it hard enough that they removed their foot p.d.q.  

I've been known to hide upon seeing children in suits, with their parents, going from door to door in my neighborhood. 

To each their own, but don't preach it to me, it's a waste of your time and, much more importantly, mine.


----------



## bwester (Aug 2, 2007)

I dont hide. I'll stand up to their faces. 
I have a SERIOUS problem with people that use fear to get others to believe in what they do. Seems more along the lines of Jim Jones, Hitler or Stalin and not Moses, Jesus or the Apostles.


----------



## Jon in SW Ohio (Aug 2, 2007)

The funniest solution I've heard yet was from a buddy of mine in the Herpetology society. All his snake "barracks" are in his living room so as soon as you walk in, BAM a wall of snakes stares you in the face.

They ring the doorbell, he invites them in, and he then tries to preach to them the salvation found in being a snake handler. I wish I could have been there to see their faces!

Jon


----------



## bwester (Aug 2, 2007)

Jon, that is AWESOME!!!


----------



## Eric Muehlbauer (Aug 2, 2007)

Blake- I love your reply! That has to be the best! Fortunately, around here, even the LDS leave us alone...only the Jehovah's Witnesses. What a pain...they come and ring the bell on nice Saturday mornings...I point to the mezuzah on the doorpost to indicate my clearly stated religion ( not that I am even remotely religious...inherited the mezuzah from the previous owners...) As if they could care...they still have to be asked to leave.....which they are happy to do, as I assume that they believe my kind is going to hell anyway.....Take care, Eric


----------



## Frederick (Aug 3, 2007)

*Just a tip*

Dear all,
Some years ago we traded our house with a nice family in LA. The first Saturday morning, someone rang the bell. We were near the pool--I was in it, my wife next to it. She rushed to the door in her VERY skimpy bikini and opened it wide. The three on the doorstep gasped and fled without delivering their sermon. Never saw them again in the 3 months we were there. We howled with laughter. Henceforth the house must have designated as a den of vice...
Unpremeditated practical jokes are the best. 
Try it. 
Have a nice day.
Frederick


----------



## toddybear (Aug 3, 2007)

Primarily just Jehovah's around here but some Seven Day Adventusts too. Generally they are two young men in black suits...a real giveaway...so 20-something year olds even own suits these days? I generally just don't answer the door.

Last year a mature couple came into my backyard...I knew nothing until they spoke and I jumped about a mile in the air. They started preaching about paradise and I told them 'Thank-you for all the kind words about my garden, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a paradise..more like a botanical garden'. They were less than impressed...I haven't seen them since.


----------



## NYEric (Aug 3, 2007)

Blasphemy! :evil:


----------



## Barbara (Aug 3, 2007)

Several years ago, when I went to school in T.O., a couple young JW's approached we in the same place on the way to the same lecture every week. Finally, I got sick of it, so I put on some black cloths and and some new agey looking jewelry in anticipation of their approach. They did so with some hestitation and when they started in with their speech, I told them that I'm Wiccan, and there's not a darn thing they could do about it. They never bothered me again. lol.


----------



## Rick (Aug 3, 2007)

Jon in SW Ohio said:


> The funniest solution I've heard yet was from a buddy of mine in the Herpetology society. All his snake "barracks" are in his living room so as soon as you walk in, BAM a wall of snakes stares you in the face.
> 
> They ring the doorbell, he invites them in, and he then tries to preach to them the salvation found in being a snake handler. I wish I could have been there to see their faces!
> 
> Jon



I think I've got you're buddy beat. We have a goat skull with a pentacle painted on it. I try to convert them to Wica, and they usually leave pretty fast.


----------



## SlipperFan (Aug 3, 2007)

bwester said:


> I have a SERIOUS problem with people that use fear to get others to believe in what they do.



Are you perchance referring to the current US Administration????


----------



## bwester (Aug 3, 2007)

SlipperFan said:


> Are you perchance referring to the current US Administration????



Dot, no dictators were not part of this


----------



## rdhed (Aug 4, 2007)

Look away children...do not look these blasphemers directly in the eye..lest you be taken over.:evil:


----------



## NYEric (Aug 4, 2007)

I caught one in the Post Office tonight, I refused her pamphlet and she said, "Oh, you have a Bible?" I said, "I don't think so and I don't think your pamphlet will help." She said that I should find Jesus and there is a 4 year plan. I should empty my IRA now and buy plants to enjoy then!


----------



## Mark (Aug 4, 2007)

I've been pretty lucky. The few I've encountered here are polite and actually take "no" for an answer. 

You let them have 15 minutes of your break? FIFTEEN MINUTES? I'd have walked, driven or door-slammed my way out of that hellonearth in under thirty seconds.

Fear based cults like that piss me off.


----------



## Eric Muehlbauer (Aug 4, 2007)

All this reminds me of my first- and only- encounter with Scientologists. It was the summer after my first year of college, and I was a dumb 18 year old on a break from my braindead summer job. A guy came over and talked to me, seemed interesting....a few minutes later I was being interviewed at Scientology headquarters....I was told that I was psychologically and emotionally in very bad shape...they recommended I come back for an "e-meter" reading, and soon, as I was in such bad shape. Hiding my intense fear (I was actually more scared at that point then the time a guy invited me into his car, while I was hitchiking...while pointing a gun at me...I did take the ride, by the way.....) I said I'd think about it, bought a copy of Dianetics, and left in a hurry. I was so freaked out i couldn't sleep for a week......Eric


----------



## NYEric (Aug 6, 2007)

Eric, I have this bridge that God wants you to buy!


----------



## Eric Muehlbauer (Aug 6, 2007)

I bought it already........Eric


----------



## bwester (Aug 7, 2007)

Eric Muehlbauer said:


> I bought it already........Eric



so thats who bought the bridge I was lookin at buying :rollhappy:


----------



## TADD (Aug 7, 2007)

Hhhmmm E-meter.... E-BAY....... :evil:


----------



## Ellen (Aug 7, 2007)

When the JW's come knocking on my door, I do a preemptive strike, saying "Oh, you're here to buy orchids, let me take you out to the greenhouse and show you what I have ..." They get out almost as fast as they would if confronted by a skimpy bikini. I guess they consider orchids evil, too.


----------



## SlipperFan (Aug 7, 2007)

Ellen said:


> ... I guess they consider orchids evil, too.


Oh, they are! Perhaps they've heard of the Dracula, and the medusa:evil:


----------



## Heather (Aug 7, 2007)

Ellen said:


> When the JW's come knocking on my door, I do a preemptive strike, saying "Oh, you're here to buy orchids, let me take you out to the greenhouse and show you what I have ..." They get out almost as fast as they would if confronted by a skimpy bikini. I guess they consider orchids evil, too.



How about orchids AND a skimpy bikini?


----------



## ohio-guy (Aug 8, 2007)

Thats an intersting image you are giving us there Heather.....


----------



## bwester (Aug 8, 2007)

Heather said:


> How about orchids AND a skimpy bikini?



did someone say skimpy???


----------



## Heather (Aug 8, 2007)

:noangel: Well, someone the other day was surprised about my "airing out the snacks" comment.


----------



## bwester (Aug 8, 2007)

well, wouldnt say anything unless it was "airing out the sacks?


----------



## rdlsreno (Aug 10, 2007)

I just run Away!!

Ramon


----------

