E
Ernie
Guest
Enough banter, more jokes! 
Help Support Slippertalk Orchid Forum:
I remember a story I had to translate several years ago for french newspapers.
It was about a woman who had written a letter to her municipality asking for a deer crossing road sign to be moved. She claimed that the actual site of the deer crossing was too dangerous as most cars were going too fast in the area. Then she suggested another place where the deer could cross with a lesser risk to be run over. I still wonder if the deer crossing sign was actually moved. It probably was a false news report. But still very funny. :rollhappy:
Michel
It was about a woman who had written a letter to her municipality asking for a deer crossing road sign to be moved. She claimed that the actual site of the deer crossing was too dangerous as most cars were going too fast in the area. Then she suggested another place where the deer could cross with a lesser risk to be run over. I still wonder if the deer crossing sign was actually moved. It probably was a false news report. But still very funny. :rollhappy:
Michel
G
goldenrose
Guest
I don't know whether to be more or less upset that I work for the government.
Cage of Monkeys
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes the attempt with same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another Monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the Stairs.
To his shock, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know, that is the way it has always been done around here.
And that, my fellow monkeys, is how Government operates....
Cage of Monkeys
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes the attempt with same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another Monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the Stairs.
To his shock, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know, that is the way it has always been done around here.
And that, my fellow monkeys, is how Government operates....
K
Kavanaru
Guest
:rollhappy: That reminds me when I was working as tutor of foreign student in Germany... I had a student from Senegal who said that Germans were so strict and had everything so much under control, that at the highways they had very clearly stated where animals could cross and one should respect that. She based her comment on signs like the one here, and indicated that in this case, animals had only 3 Km to cross over the roads... I had to smile, and told her that this was not the meaning of that sign. That she knew how good Germans were in hunting and how proud they were when achiving something important. and that the real meaning of the sign was that at that point someone had killed a 3Km big deer... I still think I should have recorded her face at the moment when completely in shock she said that she did not know deer could be so big in Europe! :rollhappy:
H
Hera
Guest
Hot to give a cat a pill.
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
6. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
7. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
8. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
9. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
10. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
11. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
6. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
7. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
8. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
9. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
10. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
11. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
luvsorchids
Well-Known Member
Kiss and Slap
A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other flirtatious looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The general manager is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his general manager all at the same time!"
A young technician and his general manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each other, because they are giving each other flirtatious looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The general manager is setting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his general manager all at the same time!"
N
nikv
Guest
A United Auto Workers union member happens to be in Las Vegas to attend a union meeting. He decides to take advantage of one of the legal brothels in the state of Nevada. Being a strong advocate of unions, he wants to make sure that he uses a unionized brothel. He goes to the first brothel and asks the madame how much they charge and whether the girls belong to a union. One hundred dollars, she says and no, they are not unionized. And of that hundred dollars, how much goes to the girl and how much goes to the house? Twenty goes to the girl and eighty to the house, she tells him.
Disappointed, the man leaves and goes to the next brothel. He once again asks the rate and whether or not they are unionized. The madame replies that the rate is $100 (eighty going to the house and twenty going to the girl) and that they are not unionized.
He again leaves and goes to the next brothel. When he enters the main room, he sees that it's filled with lots of beautiful young women and one older woman seated in the corner. He once again asks the madame whether or not the brothel is unionized.
"Why yes we are!", she declares. "We charge 100 dollars, with eighty going to the girl and twenty going to the house".
"Great! That is much more fair.", he says. He hands her a hundred dollar bill and says "I'd like that cute little blonde over there".
The madame replies "I'm sure you would, sir. But this is a union shop." She then points to the old lady seated in the corner. "Ethel over there is next in line and she has over fifty years seniority". . . . .
Disappointed, the man leaves and goes to the next brothel. He once again asks the rate and whether or not they are unionized. The madame replies that the rate is $100 (eighty going to the house and twenty going to the girl) and that they are not unionized.
He again leaves and goes to the next brothel. When he enters the main room, he sees that it's filled with lots of beautiful young women and one older woman seated in the corner. He once again asks the madame whether or not the brothel is unionized.
"Why yes we are!", she declares. "We charge 100 dollars, with eighty going to the girl and twenty going to the house".
"Great! That is much more fair.", he says. He hands her a hundred dollar bill and says "I'd like that cute little blonde over there".
The madame replies "I'm sure you would, sir. But this is a union shop." She then points to the old lady seated in the corner. "Ethel over there is next in line and she has over fifty years seniority". . . . .
A guy goes into a house of ill repute. He slaps $10 on the counter and asks "What does that get me?"
The madame says "Not much". Go to the second door on the left.
Upon entering, he sees a chicken. He's really horny, so he figures what the heck and has his way with it.
The next night he returns and slaps down $5. The madame eyes him and sends him to the third door on the left. There's a few chairs, another few other guys, and a stage. In a few minutes the curtain pulls back and there's a guy doing it with a cow.
After a few minutes of watching the man turns to the guy nest to him and says "Ya know, this ain't bad."
The other guy replies, "Yo shoulda been here last night. There was some guy doin it with a chicken!"
The madame says "Not much". Go to the second door on the left.
Upon entering, he sees a chicken. He's really horny, so he figures what the heck and has his way with it.
The next night he returns and slaps down $5. The madame eyes him and sends him to the third door on the left. There's a few chairs, another few other guys, and a stage. In a few minutes the curtain pulls back and there's a guy doing it with a cow.
After a few minutes of watching the man turns to the guy nest to him and says "Ya know, this ain't bad."
The other guy replies, "Yo shoulda been here last night. There was some guy doin it with a chicken!"
H
Hera
Guest
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to
the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a
hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they
were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you
two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a
hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick.
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to
the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a
hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they
were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you
two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a
hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl
who plants the trees called in sick.
E
Ernie
Guest
Three moms are talking about their teenage daughters and the woes of motherhood...
Brunette mom says: I found a pack of cigarettes under my daughter's bed. I'm so disappointed, I didn't know she smoked.
Red head mom says: Tell me about it. I found some booze in my daughter's room. I had no idea she drank.
Blonde mom says: That's nothing! I found a box of condoms in my daughter's dresser. And I never knew she had a penis.
:rollhappy:
Brunette mom says: I found a pack of cigarettes under my daughter's bed. I'm so disappointed, I didn't know she smoked.
Red head mom says: Tell me about it. I found some booze in my daughter's room. I had no idea she drank.
Blonde mom says: That's nothing! I found a box of condoms in my daughter's dresser. And I never knew she had a penis.
:rollhappy:
A man sees a neighbour blonde sitting on a chair on her porch. She's got both legs and one arm in plaster casts. She has a medical patch over one eye, a neck brace, several contusions on her exposed skin and a couple of teeth are missing.
''What the heck happened to you?'' he asks.
''I fell hard raking the leaves!''
''How can you fall this bad raking leaves?''
''I couldn't wait and went up the tree to rake them...'' explains the blonde.
''What the heck happened to you?'' he asks.
''I fell hard raking the leaves!''
''How can you fall this bad raking leaves?''
''I couldn't wait and went up the tree to rake them...'' explains the blonde.
Ron-NY
Well-Known Member
The zombie girl asked her mom: "Mom, do I have daddies eyes?" The mother replied: "yes dear, now eat them before they get cold." :sob::sob:
Three women walk into a bar with their dogs in tow and seat themselves at the bar. The bartender comes up, clucking, saying "Now ladies, you know I can't allow those dogs in here". Well, the women start whining and crabbing and finally he waves them to silence. "Ok, ok, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna take your dogs one at a time into the back, where I keep mine. If I can tell you what you do for a living when I come back with your dog, you have to leave." The women look at each other and back at the bartender and confidently agree to his deal.
So he takes the first dog back and is gone for a few minutes and then comes out smiling, with the dog in tow. He walks up to the dog's owner and says, "You're an architect."
She looks stunned, murmurs "How did you know?"
"Well, I took your dog back there and gave him some dog biscuits and he rearranged them like a floor plan." He smiles, and waves at her, "See ya!" She reluctantly gets up, takes her dog, and leaves.
Then he repeats the process with the second dog. When he returns, he tells the second woman, "You're a doctor."
And she says, "Why that's amazing! How did you find out?"
"I gave your dog some dog biscuits and he rearranged them into the shape of a skeleton. Have a nice night!" He smiles and waves her off. Flustered, she leaves.
Finally, as he is walking the last dog back, the remaining woman laughs and says, "There's no way you're gonna figure out what I do for a living."
He takes the dog back, and is gone a good deal longer than the first two times. She hears some dog noises and finally is relieved when he comes back with her dog. He hands her the leash and says, "You're a waitress."
She is utterly floored. "How?" Is all the answer she can muster.
The bartender grins and explains, "I took your dog back and gave him some dog biscuits. He ground them up and snorted them, tried to hump all the other dogs, and asked to go home early."
[It's funnier if you've ever worked in a restaurant]
So he takes the first dog back and is gone for a few minutes and then comes out smiling, with the dog in tow. He walks up to the dog's owner and says, "You're an architect."
She looks stunned, murmurs "How did you know?"
"Well, I took your dog back there and gave him some dog biscuits and he rearranged them like a floor plan." He smiles, and waves at her, "See ya!" She reluctantly gets up, takes her dog, and leaves.
Then he repeats the process with the second dog. When he returns, he tells the second woman, "You're a doctor."
And she says, "Why that's amazing! How did you find out?"
"I gave your dog some dog biscuits and he rearranged them into the shape of a skeleton. Have a nice night!" He smiles and waves her off. Flustered, she leaves.
Finally, as he is walking the last dog back, the remaining woman laughs and says, "There's no way you're gonna figure out what I do for a living."
He takes the dog back, and is gone a good deal longer than the first two times. She hears some dog noises and finally is relieved when he comes back with her dog. He hands her the leash and says, "You're a waitress."
She is utterly floored. "How?" Is all the answer she can muster.
The bartender grins and explains, "I took your dog back and gave him some dog biscuits. He ground them up and snorted them, tried to hump all the other dogs, and asked to go home early."
[It's funnier if you've ever worked in a restaurant]
B
Bolero
Guest
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage,
I notice post on the porch table that I picked up from the postman
earlier.
I decide to go through it before I wash the car.
I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box
under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling
first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out
the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table and notice that there is only one
cheque left.
My extra cheques are in the desk in my study,
so I go into the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I'd been
drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques but first I need to push the coffee
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup..
As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on
the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.
I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers..
I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water
and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen
table.
I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV,I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.
So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed
The bills aren't paid
There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen work-surface
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all bloody day and I'm really tired.
I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail.....
Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I
can't remember who the hell I've sent it to.
Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage,
I notice post on the porch table that I picked up from the postman
earlier.
I decide to go through it before I wash the car.
I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box
under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling
first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out
the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table and notice that there is only one
cheque left.
My extra cheques are in the desk in my study,
so I go into the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I'd been
drinking.
I'm going to look for my cheques but first I need to push the coffee
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup..
As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on
the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.
I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers..
I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water
and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen
table.
I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV,I'll be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
put it back where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.
So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed
The bills aren't paid
There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen work-surface
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all bloody day and I'm really tired.
I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail.....
Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I
can't remember who the hell I've sent it to.
Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
A blond woman is zipping along in her convertible sports car, and gets pulled over by a police woman, who also happens to be a blond.
"Drivers license, please." she says to the driver, who starts rummaging around in her purse. After a few frustrating minutes, the driver asks "What does it look like?"
"It's square and has your picture on it."
After a few more minutes, the driver pulls out a mirror, looks at it for a second, then hands it to the officer.
"Oh!" she exclaims. "You can go. I didn't realize you were a cop, too."
"Drivers license, please." she says to the driver, who starts rummaging around in her purse. After a few frustrating minutes, the driver asks "What does it look like?"
"It's square and has your picture on it."
After a few more minutes, the driver pulls out a mirror, looks at it for a second, then hands it to the officer.
"Oh!" she exclaims. "You can go. I didn't realize you were a cop, too."
